With all the management interviews coming up, everyone I meet recommends reading newspapers. Definitely good advice, but I can't help but recall this excerpt a friend mailed a few months ago. The setting is the British Prime Minister's Office, where the PM, the Cabinet Secretary (Sir Humphrey Appleby) and the Principal Private Secretary (Bernard Woolley) have gathered to discuss an impending national crisis about which they have precious little information.
Finished with Bernard for now, Sir Humphrey turned back to the PM and wiping his mouth with his handkerchief — “I suppose we could leak this to the press and hope that they can dig up more information for us.”
“Don't tell me about the press, Humphrey” countered the Prime Minister, “I know exactly who reads the papers: the Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country; The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country; The Times is read by people who actually do run the country; the Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country; the Financial Times is read by people who own the country; the Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country; and the The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is — none of whom we can trust with this crisis.”
“Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun ?” asked the Cabinet Secretary.
“ Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits” Bernard shot back.
Finished with Bernard for now, Sir Humphrey turned back to the PM and wiping his mouth with his handkerchief — “I suppose we could leak this to the press and hope that they can dig up more information for us.”
“Don't tell me about the press, Humphrey” countered the Prime Minister, “I know exactly who reads the papers: the Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country; The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country; The Times is read by people who actually do run the country; the Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country; the Financial Times is read by people who own the country; the Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country; and the The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is — none of whom we can trust with this crisis.”
“Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun ?” asked the Cabinet Secretary.
“ Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits” Bernard shot back.
