Came to know 2 days ago that a very good friend of mine was having her
marriage fixed. The unfortunate part is that I came to know this from
another friend, not from her. To top it all, she knew her groom for
over a year!!!
All this makes one think. Are all friends we consider close to us
really that close? Or is their definition of closeness different? I
was discussing this exact point with A yesterday. She was also close
to the friend in question. Needless to say, she was also in the dark
about this development. As A so aptly put it, "If I were to have such
a happy development in my life, I would want to share it with all my
friends. Then my happiness would increase manifold!!!"
Now, the question arises, "Do I have a right to feel hurt?" I
certainly feel hurt, but is it right on my part to think in that
manner? Should I tell her that I know about this and that I am
aggrieved that she chose not include me in her happiness? Do I have a
moral right to do so?
Man, I have never been this confused before!!!
19 comments:
Dear sumo.. I must say that u have the right to feel hurt.U expressed your feelings very aptly n put my views forward too. Anyways, apart from such people, i do still have trust in the noble relationship called "Friendship". I still treasure it the most.
@ A : Thanks for taking the time out to read this. Actually, after writing this and discussing it with you, I feel a lot better. Thanks once again for being there!!! :-)
you SHOULD be aggrieved!!!!!!! Get your revenge!!!!!!!!!!!!
We shall help you!!!!!!!!!!!
folks, its time to start looking for Sumo's bride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for stopping by my blog... As I had mentioned, I am trying to tie some lose ends of the book, just to see how good a reader I really am :). More on it in days to come.
@ firebringer : I think the point of writing this post was lost on you!!! I certainly dont see any humour in the situation. And the friend in question was just that - a friend!!!
@ hermionegranger : Do keep up the good work. It makes for good reading, esp. during a boring spell in office!!! ;-)
u have never been this confused? i want ur lifeee ;o)
on a more serious note : of course u can feel hurt. bring ur view point to the friend's notice and see what she has to say.
if the explaination fits, great. else reevaluate ur "closeness" find a new equation u r comfortable with too.
ur displeasure/upsetness stems from the fact that ur friend n u weren't on the same page in terms of closeness, not bout her keeping news from u.
btw, i'd written a post on validity of feelings a while back...read through it if u get the chance:)
@ Princess : That is an extremely sensible comment on the entire situation. Maybe the whole closeness thing will have to be reevaluated, as u say!!! I guess time will shed more light on things!!!
wot r u confused abt???its very clear that u r very hurt and anyone in ur place wuld be....its ok....wot u shld acctually be confused abt is whether the "close friendship" as u say was reciprocated or was is jus a illusion??...is this person really worth the hurt???
@Anon: I am confused abt whether I shud give my friend the benefit of doubt or as u say, form my own conclusions as to whether the "close friendship" was reciprocated or one-sided.
welcome to the real world Sumo. Come to America, and you will see these points extremely exaggerated.
To be honest..I dont know what u r feeling cos i have never been in that situation....even if i were..well u know me i wudnt care...hehe....guess i'll understand when i get back.....and whats all this abt ccil????
@ firebringer: Sigh!!! Maybe u r right. I have never been to America, I wouldnt know!!!
@ Riaan: Get back, then we will see. Abt CCIL, get back and I will make you understand!!! ;-)
i might sound harsh..but u tell me vil a "close friend" ever hide the fact that he/she is involved with sumone and is thnking abt getting married to that person???and that too for as long a period as more than one year??
@ Anon: Firstly, answering ur question, NO!! A 'close friend' wouldnt do that. But then, that was the point of writing this post!!!
And just so that u kno, u dont really sound harsh, just practical!!!
@ Tanushree : Actually, we were all coming to the same conclusion. Thnx for summing it all up!!! ;-)
BTW, thnx for dropping by.
Hey..sorry for the rather late entry..Even I dont know where i've been these past few days :-D
As for your dilemma...there is something abt not expecting anything from anybody in a relationship..if u get it good..meanwhile, if u wanna share /spend time blah blah, good for you, but dont expect it to be returned and then feel hurt when it isnt :) and hey, perhaps, she doesnt think that she and u are that close as U think..perceptions of closeness can vary, no??
@ Everyman: Yeah, we all were coming to just abt the same conclusion out here. Neway, the incident is now behind me. I m crazy once again!!! :D
hello...
don't tell me its contagious! I didn't mean to infect you, I swear! :)
Yeah Princess, it IS contagious. But, dont worry!!! Its been a lifetime of craziness for me. (written with n xtremely straight face) ;-)
Post a Comment