The XIMB Chronicles - VII

It's 4.30 am and I have just finished watching 'The Notebook'. I loved the movie, without doubt. But why is it that such movies always manage to put me in a melancholy mood? Perhaps one day, I shall figure it out.

But today, my melancholy has not been solely caused by the movie. A part of it had also to do with how I felt before that. A dream you have been chasing for so long, a dream that you always harboured as a child, a dream that is about to come true after overcoming so many obstacles and putting so much at stake just to make it come true. How would you feel if such a dream was once again taken just out of your reach by a misguided individual whose intentions may have been noble, but who never, for once, stopped and thought about the repurcussions his actions may have and whether his actions were even necessary!

I guess I shall find out tomorrow whether I can still stretch out and grab for it or whether I will have to finally let go!

The Long Shower

Sometimes I wonder why I like to take a long shower so much. It's certainly not because I want to be squeaky clean. Just clean enough to move around in civilised circles is enough for me. It's also not because I feel good under the shower. Although the latter may be partly true, I start feeling uncomfortable after a few minutes.

Why then do I still spend so much time under that high pressure jet of water? Perhaps it's because it gives me the chance to be truly alone, to think quietly without any fear of disturbance, to ponder over what may have been. Or maybe it's because I still cant get her image out of my head - first wet JLT, her hair falling over her face in a cute manner, her enthusiasm to dance not waning with the increasing intensity of the water cascading over the dance floor, the cute way in which she scrunches up her face when asked if she wants a drink, the tinkling sound she makes when she laughs. Maybe it's because I know that it's not possible, not just because of my lack of self-confidence, but also because of the knowledge that we want different things and that too in different places. Perhaps its for the best that I couldn't whip out my trusty Canon today because of the rain and capture her ecstasy for eternity. Maybe I enjoy the long shower because my lachrymal glands are given free rein with none the wiser, sometimes not even me!

Maybe I like it because the shower doesn't judge me...it lets me be just...me!!!

The XIMB Chronicles - VI

For some weird reason, I decided to check out my own blog today. To my surprise, I found that I had not blogged in more than 2 months! That sure is a long time and not surprisingly, a lot has happened in the meanwhile. For starters, I am done with my internship and am back at XIMB for my second year. I have stayed in Pune for almost 3 months, having gone there feeling happy that I would get to spend some time with someone I am really close to - my best mate. I have come back with, admittedly, a bit of that and memories of time spent with another person who I can say I am very glad to have initially befriended during that wintry holiday in Joka. My 26th birthday passed by on the 1st of July and I sang to myself that timeless tune originally conceived by the Hill sisters, feeling happy that around 50% of the people who mattered called at midnight (the rest messaged) while I was in the middle of an IlluminatiX meeting, with none the wiser! It was like my own little secret and I somehow derived some ridiculous childish pleasure out of it. Maybe Sissy can throw some light on the reasons for this weird behaviour. But then, when HAS my behaviour been called normal?

Anyway, I am digressing. The other big thing that has happened is that my application for an exchange programme with a French university has been accepted and I will be going for a term to the IESEG School of Management in Lille, France from September to December. Right now, only the tickets to Paris have been finalised and we know for sure that we (6 students from XIMB, incl. me) will be flying out to Paris from Mumbai/Delhi on the 19th of September. Accommodation still remains an issue, but we are hoping that something will work out. Let's see what happens. The only thing that remains after that is the tour planning. Unfortunately, the Eurail pass will not be available at a discount for me due to the passage of a certain event mentioned earlier in this post. Still, this is a once in a lifetime chance and I shall certainly not be hesitant in taking it! Europe, anyone? :D

Life's Aims?

Just last week, after a lot of time, I found another comment on one of the posts here. Princess was back and here to stay, I hope! Anyway, it made me realise that I had not posted here for a really long time. Well, not much has happened since then, anyway. My first year has ended and I am currently sitting in a sterile air-conditioned environment in a top IT firm in Pune, doing my summer internship. Out here, the work isn't very hectic – at least, not right now. That leaves me with a lot of time to think aimlessly.

Well, today, I was doing just that when I suddenly asked myself if I really wanted to do this. This being working as a consultant in an IT company, earning what would hopefully be big bucks. The self-posed question intrigued me and I tried to delve deeper to find an answer. I decided that I liked working with technology and trying to make it fit the needs of a business. I liked juggling different things at a time and finding the optimal mix of time and effort to perform all tasks. My job is giving me all these things. Then, why did I ask myself this question in the first place?

More introspection resulted. What did I always want to do, LOVE to do? The answer was instantaneous – drive. I am always eager to drive, whatever the situation, however tired I may be. I am always able to drive at full alertness. Yeah, it is wholly probable that I may slump at the wheel the moment I reach my destination…but then, that's a story for another day. Unfortunately, they don't have job which lets me drive for pleasure – well, not one that I am aware of, anyway!

I also love to write. Put my thoughts down, so to speak. There is something about being able to read about what I was thinking a couple of years ago, as this blog now allows me to do. It just helps me understand myself better. Too bad the bug bites me only once in a while!

I love to take pictures. Pictures of nature at its pristine best, pictures of people doing weird things, the more spontaneous the better. Pictures that will make people shake their fists at me, yet grudgingly admit that this man can click! Unfortunately, I am too lazy to get down and dirty, as the professionals like to put it!

I love to be in Bombay. I know my opinion is biased, but as far as I am concerned, there is no better city anywhere else. I love the anonymity it provides me with, the ability to go places without being recognised. I love the fast pace at which it moves, yet it gives me the ability to just stand at Marine Drive, or sit on the wall at Bandra fort and simply stare at the sea. Unfortunately, my chosen line of work allows for a very slim chance to be in Bombay for the near future!

I love all these things. I hope I will continue to do so. But, what I love the most is being able to go back. Go back where there is someone waiting for you. Now, it's my parents, tomorrow it may be someone else. At the end of the day, I just love to go back…home!!!

I understand...

There are many things that I can't be told, as I am too 'young'.

I don't like it, but I understand.

I need to drive with a running commentary run by my 'well-wishers' in the back seat.

I don't like it, but I understand.

I need to study 'hard' for results.

I don't like it, but I understand.

'She' is happy with someone else.

I don't like it, but I understand.

People fail to see beyond the 'loud' me.

I don't like it, but I understand.

All my 'friends' are slowly moving away.

I don't like it, but I understand.

My best mate is hardly available when I need him the most.

I hate that I understand it, but I understand.

Treasures

Well, the hellish week of lectures has ended and I am temporarily back home. As I lounged about in my favourite chair, reading fanfiction in front of my beloved old Presario while Mum fretted about the packing arrangements, I began to wonder what would I like to take with me on the trip. That led to a whole new chain of thoughts, which finally led me to ask myself, "What are my most prized possessions?"

The very first one that comes to mind is a life size car that my grandfather gifted me when I was two. When I say life size, I mean life size for a two-year old! I used to sit in it and drive it around the house for ages, generally driving the people around me stir crazy! I still have it at home, although it is now used for stacking a lot of junk stuff on it, so that it can be moved around easily (the advantage of the wheel and all, you know!).

The next one came quite a few years later when I passed my Std. X exams. This time my grandfather gave me a Titan watch that I had been mooning over for months. I still wear that watch everyday. Then came the very tool that I am using to write this - my Presario. This was during Std. XI or XII (I can't remember which), when my grandfather asked me what I would like to have for my birthday. I jocularly mentioned a computer and lo behold! He gave me a cheque of the appropriate amount and asked me to go get one for myself! There have been precious few times when I have been completely flabbergasted, both mentally and verbally. This was one of those times. Now, I know most people will be seeing a pattern here, what with my grandfather being the well, "gifter", for lack of a better word. Well, up until this point, it was like he was my very own Santa Claus, and I loved him for it! I know it sounds really materialistic on my part, buy hey...I was a teenage kid, cut me some slack! Well, back to the topic on hand, the Presario was the last of my treasured gifts from him, simply because of his unfortunate death when I was in FE.

My next prized possession came when I (in combination with a couple of friends) threw a party for our birthdays, which happened to be pretty close to each other. All the three of us were recipients of gifts. I happened to receive a porcelain mug with 'Happy Birthday' written on the side. It is ironic that I had told Mum that I needed a mug just a few days before this. I still drink tea/coffee ONLY from that mug whenever I am at home. In fact, my Mum is the only one who is allowed to touch it apart from me!

Speaking about Mum, brings me to my next possession. On successful completion of my engineering, she gifted me a Parker Vector. Pretty simple and straightforward gift, really. But, I really don't know why I still treat that pen with fondness. Signatures are the only thing I allow myself to scrawl with that pen.

Finally, we come to my last treasured possession so far - my baby...well, my bike for the uninitiated. She is special to me simply because she is well and truly mine. I have earned every penny spent on her purchase and to this day, I zealously maintain her in good tune. Hopefully, we will have many more rides into the sunset together!

So, what do you own that you treasure the most?

The XIMB Chronicles - V

Long time! The second term has ended since. I have been home and wolfed down hapless crustaceans from the Arabian, and added to the pollution in the atmosphere via Scarlette and the good ol' Maharaja! I have caught a 'flu bug, celebrated the New Year high on paracetamol and anti-histamine and spent the first 4 days of the New Year languishing in bed.

Today, after a long time, I find myself feeling somewhat normal (well, as normal as I can be!). And I am already sick of the subjects in this term! Currently I am sitting for a lecture of Business Law, which is one of the 'icky' subjects I was talking about. Never did I think that actually studying law would be a 1000 times worse then listening to my mother go on about the subject endlessly! 

On a different note, eating 5 pieces of Mango Barfi a la Chitale in one go IS NOT beneficial to the colon!

The XIMB Chronicles - IV

It's been a week since my midterms ended and never have I had such an exhausting week so far. No no, physically, it was all fine. But, mentally, it was certainly another story altogether! And to top it all, the end seems nowhere in sight! Things were made even worse by the insane attack on Bombay in my own backyard!!! Maybe I will write more about that when I have calmed down enough to put down more than a few words before I start spewing out expletives worse than a sailor! 

Anyway, we decided to eat out for the weekend to dissolve our sorrows in yummy molten mozzarella cheese and well ground spicy bhaji. Err...for those who have not yet heard me go off on a tangent about food, I was talking about Pizza and Pav Bhaji, the former of which happens to be the favourite dish of my Economics professor, who can't stop explaining India's GDP in terms of pizzas sold! But enough about that! So, after running up a bill of a whopping Rs. 390 per head at Pizza Hut yesterday (yes, when you are a student, anything greater than Rs. 150 is 'whopping'!), we decided to spare our pockets and minds the heartache and go in for some cheap Pav Bhaji. Now, a plate of Pav Bhaji is a wonderful way of sharing gossip about your batchmates and also to catch up with each other's lives outside of campus. One such similar discussion was going on, when someone recommended that I watch a movie 'A Walk to Remember'. I have not mentioned the name of this someone coz I am not really sure if he/she would want to be named here.

Anyway, back to story! So deep was my frustration with academics that I conveniently forgot that tomorrow was a working day and sat down to watch the movie. Now, some 110 minutes later, as I am writing this, I am so happy that the someone had the bright idea of recommending the movie to me! What a brilliant movie! I suppose a person like say SSV (male/female) or S may be able to tell what my exact reaction was! But, it is still worth watching and "someone" has my deepest gratitude for recommending it to me.

Tag 20???

Looks like the tagging season has come round again. This time, it's a list of 20 questions. Well, here goes!!! 

1. If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?

Well, I have not had a lover yet, so it's difficult to say. However, I like to believe that I wouldn't be pretty chuffed about it!!! ;-)

2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?

Well, I am hopefully on my way to achieving my boring, run-of-the-mill dreams. But, the one I would REALLY love to fulfil immediately is that of driving a BEST double-decker!

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?

Hmm...I guess all those people who had the temerity to question my actions without attempting to find out the rationale behind them.

4. What would you like to do with a billion dollars?

Set up a permanent holiday home in the Andamans and the Swiss Alps.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?

Can't say that I have been in this position before, but I guess I am not opposed to the idea.

6. Which is more blessed: loving someone, or being loved by someone?

I must say it's the latter because it makes ME feel special.

7. How long would you wait for someone you loved?

I guess a pretty long time, but it wouldn't be endless! 

8. If the person you secretly like is attached, what would you do?

Well, considering that I currently find myself in this situation, I would do what I am doing now. Be happy because she is happy, and HATE the ruddy plonker's guts!!! :-D

9. If you could root for one social cause, what would it be?

Well, I have to say it's imparting education about road safety. I have witnessed far too many accidents on the road just because someone wasn't paying attention, or someone was in too much of a hurry.

10. What takes you down the fastest?

Self-doubt.

11. Where do you see yourself in 10 years' time?

This is a standard question in interviews and I despise it! Well, I am not exactly clairvoyant so I cannot predict something 10 years down the line, but yeah, I would like to be in a position where I can feel free to say 'no'!

12. What is your fear?

I would have to say my biggest fear is being left all alone.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

Hmm...smart, role-model, sarcastic, good conversationalist.

14. Would you rather be single and rich, or married and poor?

I haven't experienced the latter so I will root for that, as of now.

15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?

Try to tell myself that it won't be long before I get to sleep again!

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

Well, I generally find it difficult to fall in love with one person, let alone two! So, given this unlikely situation, I will go for the one who reciprocates my feelings.

17. Would you give all in a relationship?

Generally, it takes me a rather long time to completely trust anyone. So, it would take ages but yeah, I would give all eventually.

18. Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing that person has done?

No, I don't think so. I may eventually forgive the person, but I don't think I can ever forget.

19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

Well, I am already single so I suppose it's time to see how green the grass is on the other side.

20. List of  people to tag.

Normally tagging has not worked for me before, so I doubt it will this time round. Still, it's always worth a try. So, I nominate Riaan, Uday, Richa, Gaurav and keep two slots open!!! :-D

A to-do list?

Just recently, I saw the movie Dasvidaniya and I was really moved by it. A very simple concept of a cancer-afflicted person is portrayed brilliantly by Vinay Pathak. You actually feel like laughing or crying with him. Rajat Kapoor also does an excellent job.

Immediately after watching this one, I had to leave for IIM Calcutta, for participation in BT Acumen. We didn't manage to qualify for the final quizzing round, but I certainly managed to get in another good movie - If Only. As luck would have it, this one too was about death and how one should live life fully.

All this got me thinking - what would I like to do if I was told that I had a very short time left before I copped it? I know SB must be smirking at me from the US - after all, he is the one who takes pleasure in reminding me that I would most likely die much before anyone else in our friend circle! Anyway, getting back to the point - my wish list?

• Well, when I actually bite the dust, I would want to be remembered by the people I love with a smile on their faces, not a frown.
• I would like to experience love. I think the ending of the previous post would be a good start.
• As I have mentioned on this blog before, I would love to drive a BEST double-decker.
• I would like to reach a level where I never have to say 'no' to any legitimate need of the ones dependent on me.
• I would love to hold a little tyke who would stare back at me with the same green eyes with hazel flecks.
• Finally, I would love to have a day's warning so that I could really live it up kingsize!!!

The story of a smile

She has a ready smile for everyone. When she smiles, it's like bright sunshine, like the sun glistening off the top of the waves in the deep blue sea off Havelock. She loves to play with her hair. She has gorgeous shiny black hair that looks so lustrous that it makes me want to run my hand through those lovely tresses. She has a lovely voice that sounds so feminine and sweet. I could listen to it for hours...well, maybe not hours, but let's just say a long time!

But then, her smile becomes special when 'he' is around. It simply lights up her face as if she couldn't be happier. I sigh...at least I get to see her joy. Maybe someday, someone will smile like that for me, just...for me.

J K Rowling's Commencement Address at the 2008 Harvard Alumni Meet

A very nice speech...chk it out!!!

J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement from Harvard Magazine on Vimeo.

What is it about home?

• What is it about home, that I always miss it whenever I am away?
• What is it about home, that I cannot imagine life without it?
• What is it about home, that can make a simple dish taste like a gourmet one?
• What is it about home, that a mere thought about it can bring about a smile upon my face in the worst of circumstances?
• What is it about home, that I can never take a dispassionate decision about it?
• What is it about home, that makes me want to come back the day after getting back to campus?
• What is it about home, that makes me remember that I have a life outside of campus?

• What is it about home, that makes it...'home'?
  

The Brighter Side

Sigh! The first term's gone by, we've had our share of relaxation and JLTs, and now, it's back to the grind once again! One change I had been hoping for in this term was a significant lack of rain, so that I could drive around to my heart's content. Sadly, that wasn't to be. 

In fact, today, it was a proper downpour and it lasted for a good 30-40 min! So much for hoping for a shot at driving! But then, it had a silver lining. It rained so hard that I was reminded of Bombay with its regular torrential downpours. The only thing missing was a promenade like Marine Drive and of course, the mighty sea drenching the busy couples with salty water! 

Now that I am in my room thinking about all this, there's one thing that I just realised. Being here @XIMB has certainly taught me to look at the positive side of things. No situation is hopeless out here, else we would all be doomed!!! He He!!!

The XIMB Chronicles - III

The end of July finds me in the middle of my mid-terms. It feels like I hardly joined a week ago and it's already the middle of the first trimester! Very surprisingly, I found myself with a lot of free time yesterday after the FA test. Now before you guys get any ideas, let me clarify that 'lot of free time' indicates an hour or so of free time! The rest of the time was spent in playing NFS on the LAN!!! ;-) As usual, I did not need any prodding and promptly slipped into trance mode. Therein, I made a few discoveries.

• like how it's interesting as well as intriguing to wonder about what one generally wonders about while daydreaming.
• like how Mom's simple cooking feels like gourmet cuisine after eating the crap served in the mess.
• like how I feel better everyday in the morning when the Bhaina at the mess counter immediately guesses my drink of choice for breakfast everyday.
• like how I love riding my baby everyday, even if it is for the short distance of a hundred metres or so, to the mess from my hostel.
• like how it feels great to have learnt riding in Bombay traffic - Bhubaneswar seems like a breeze as compared to the melee that is Bombay.
• like how it hurt to hear that Scarlette was injured - she is currently in the workshop undergoing surgery! :-(
• like how normal it felt to be happy and sad at the same time coz R was going for further studies to the US.
• like how I don't miss my house, but the people in it.
• like how I miss reading Autocar.
• like how I am yet to fulfil my dream of driving a double-decker bus, especially when one of my batchmates has already driven her previous institute's bus.
• like how the citizens of Bhubaneswar feel that 60 kmph is 'way too fast'!
• like how the speed limit for some people is 20 kmph while for others, it doesn't exist at all!
• like how, inspite of the place I am in, I shall always remain a sort of misfit.
• like how I really miss S, especially after the previous thought came to mind.
• like how sometimes, there are moments when I really miss the hugs Mom gives me to cheer me up...
• like how coming to XIMB was one of the best decisions of my life so far.
  

The XIMB Chronicles - II

In no time, my third week here is drawing to a close. A lot has happened since the last time I posted. Firstly, there was the unofficial 'interaction' with the second year students. It was a nice mixture of mental torture and fun. It certainly wasn't pleasant when we were actually going through it, but now that I look back upon it, I have to admit that it was useful in some way.

Then came my birthday. I have never had such a yucky birthday before! I am sure my batchmates will disagree, but being dunked in all sorts of liquids like tomato sauce, milk, fizzy drinks and finally, water DOES NOT qualify as a pleasant experience! To top it all, it took me 6 washes of my hair with strong shampoo before I could move about in polite company and not smell like a rotten tomato! But wait, it was not over yet! In the very first class that day, the prof. decided to give us a surprise quiz! After 10 minutes of staring at the paper and then, 10 more minutes of fiction writing, the prof. finally realised that the quiz was based on a case that was never given in class! Phew! So much for hoping for a great b'day!

Now, the assignments have started in full swing and getting some decent amount of sleep looks like a distant dream. Sleeping in class has become a common occurrence (well, for me, at least!). It's somewhat weird, though, to watch the sun rise before retiring for the night - well, morning! Going by what the PGP II students say, it's gonna get even worse. Until then, I shall dream of being given a chance to dream!

The XIMB Chronicles - I

It's been a whirlwind four days on campus here. Registrations, dire warnings, red flags-green flags and what not! The only good part about all this is that I have finally found 3 more demented individuals like me who love to repel the so-called normal people wherever they go! I can even now picture Mom shaking her head sadly and telling me that I have once again lost the chance to make 'normal' friends! KS, PM and MS - take a bow!

Plans to get up @ 5 AM tomorrow for a jog! More later.

It all starts

Today, I finally bid adieu to Bombay for at least 2 years. The carrier chosen for this ‘august’ (well, june didn’t really fit!) occasion when Bombay could finally rise from the sea by a couple of inches was the newly christened Air India, because our bags totally weighed 76 kgs and that was the only airline offering 30 kg per head allowance for check-in baggage. Their mascot may be the Maharaja, but the plane as well as the service within was anything but fit for one! Looks like most of the population realised it long before I did! When we sat in our seats, the arm rests quite literally sprang off! No problem…the service engineer simply taped it back. That done, the crew readied the plane for take-off. Rattling and groaning, the plane started taxiing down the runway. Suddenly, there was sharp metallic crack. Further visual inspection showed that the meal tray for the seat in front of mine had suddenly decided to open on its own! Thankfully, the plane was nearly empty and none of the 15 or so passengers was occupying that particular seat. Now, I don’t know whether the pilot decided to actually relieve his tension and swig a drink or too, but it certainly felt like he did so. On the bone-dry runway, the plane veered from left to right in a manner that made Bombay taxi drivers look like school kids in comparison! Believe me, veering from edge to edge on a runway at take-off speeds is NOT a very pleasant experience. If one thought that this would end once the plane was airborne, one was sadly mistaken. Throughout the climb, the plane banked from left to the right like there was no tomorrow!

Matters weren’t much better later on, as the monsoon ensured that the flight passed through extremely turbulent weather. The halt at Raipur, after bouncing twice off the runway during landing, was just about the most comfortable part of the journey. During the climb to cruising altitude on the Raipur-Bhubaneswar leg, one of the overhead lockers decided that it needed some fresh air and flipped open its lid! Thankfully, due to the abysmally low number of passengers on the flight, there was no luggage in that locker and no one was hurt. However, this time, the crew did not detect the anomaly and the locker was successful in its quest for fresh air for a good 20 minutes, before the snacks were served by the crew!

Thankfully, there were no more scary incidents apart from the slight skidding of the plane on the wet runway in Bhubaneswar. I am pretty tired after this whole ordeal, so I shall probably sleep for the rest of the day now. More later!

Summer Vacation Travelogue - Part 4

Today, we were scheduled to travel to Pune. Once more, we had an early breakfast and started off. Traffic was sparse and we made quick work of the Amboli-Belgaum road, which we had traversed a couple of days earlier. But, the real fun started after Belgaum, when we got onto NH-4. Towns were dispatched in a flash and Kolhapur was reached in 45 minutes. A quick lunch, and a petrol top-up later, we were on our way to Pune. We were there in another 2 ½ hours. The best part about this drive was the reactions of the hapless drivers puttering around in their Jeeps/Esteems/Altos/Omnis, when a beauty like Scarlette zoomed past at 160 clicks. Some just braked, while others panicked due to the gust of wind and swerved wildly to the left! It sure felt nice to know that I was now one of the people I called maniacs, back when I drove our old M800! Tomorrow morning, we get back to Bombay.

Summer Vacation Travelogue - Part 3

An early breakfast, and we were off to Sawantwadi. Nice road to Sawantwadi through a twisting and turning ghat. We reached the place in an hour’s time. There, we saw an innocuous looking signboard which proclaimed that Panaji was 62 km away. Dad and I looked at each other and in a trice, we were off! NH-17 is an excellent road which tests your overtaking and cornering skills. Brilliant piece of tarmac if driving and hobby come in the same sentence for you! The Goa govt. seems to take the upkeep of its roads very seriously. Looks like the other states could learn something here.

Lunch was a much laid back affair on Miramar beach and consisted of brilliantly fried Surmai (Kingfish) and Chilly Crab. I would have loved to wash this down with a glass of local port wine, but I was driving. Half a grand exchanged hands for a kilo and a quarter of cashews, and we were back on NH-17.

We also stopped over in Sawantwadi on the way back, as originally planned. It seems that this is the place to visit for all sorts of wooden handicraft. We also found Alphonso mangoes being sold here for Rs. 90 a dozen! All the appropriate purchases were made and a couple of hours later, I am back writing this.